How Thick Can You Get...

My usual commute to work includes at least half an hour sitting on the Central Line (lovely - NOT), and in order to mitigate the tedium, I pick up the freebie paper Metro and have a gander.

Page 16 today has a fab little piece about stupid comments from holidaymakers, and includes such gems as:

• To a travel agent - "The Brochure says no hairdressers in the resort - we are trainee hairdressers, will we be able to go there?"
• In a letter to Airtours - "I'm never flying to Jamaica with Airtours again. It took us nine hours, but it only took the Americans three hours"
• Letter to holiday company - "I had a wonderful holiday in Kenya but I think I should bring to your Health & Safety department's attention the fact that the animals were not fenced in"
• At airport check-in - "Can I have a window seat please, it's a long journey and I would like some fresh air"
• During a hotel Quiz Night, on being asked "Which beetle did the ancient Egyptians revere?" - the reply was "I know this one, it was John Lennon!"

But my favourite has to be:

• To travel agent - "I believe you need a visa for Egypt - will MasterCard do?"

Barking Mad Pictures

I met some really nice folks last night at Roger Kondrat's Blogger/Web2.0 event, and it was great to talk with other people who are so passionate about the web and future developements.

After the round of swapping business cards, I was browsing the blog for Crowdstorm (run by two great guys, Chris and Phil who I chatted with quite a lot last night). Phil had posted a rather silly picture he'd seen in Wimbledon Village, showing a Pelican Crossing For Horses which rather tickled my funny bone. This led me to remember one silly image I'd taken myself, during my Arctic Husky Adventure (see right) - Parking For Dogs.

England Sinking?

I haven't written in a while for two reasons - firstly not much rugby happening at the moment, and secondly I've been on my hols to Barcelona, and have just caught my breath!

I say not much rugger on at the moment, obviously discounting the three disasterous England performances of late:

• 11th June saw England get a drubbing against Australia, losing 34-3 in Sydney.
• On 17th June, England Saxons managed to lose the Plate Final in the Churchill Cup to Ireland A, thus coming 4th (out of six!).
• On the same date, England main squad lost again against Australia, this time on the end of a 43-18 hammering.

Can't say I'm entirely surprised bearing in mind the fairly inexperienced squad we took while resting some of the senior boys ahead of the next long season. But I'm wondering if Andy Robinson has lost some of his perspective in insisting England can still win the World Cup again next year. On those performances? I won't be betting my mortgage on it!

The Autumn Internationals (kicking off with New Zealand at Twickenham on 5th November) will be very interesting. Fireworks on the pitch too, perhaps? Here's a picture of the last time the AllBlacks visited: Steve Borthwick does battle with his opposite number Chris Jack.

Rubber Toilet Anyone?

The Halfbakery always raises a laugh, and today I stumbled across the fantastic suggestion for a Rubber Toilet. Should save countless injuries of rugby-club members who get very drunk on an evening out, pass out in the loo and hit their heads on the porcelain. The RFU should make it mandatory that all Club Houses have them!

Actually, it wasn't just the concept which tickled my elbow, but also user 2 Fries Shy of A Happy Meal's wonderful parody of Billy Joel's "It's Still Rock & Roll To Me", verse two:

"What's the matter with the can I'm priving?
Can't you smell that it's out of style?
Should I get a set of white wall toilets?
Are you gonna crap the miracle pile?
Nowadays you can't be too experimental.
Your bounce back poo's gettin you excremental.
Hot stunk, cool dunk, even unflushed old chunk
It's still just a bowl to me. "

Priceless!

Tom Toms

Andy Robinson appears to have picked an exciting team to face Australia on Sunday. I really hope they can make an impression, it would be great to have more options come the World Cup.

The two Toms are on the wing - Voyce and Varndell - and both have bags of pace given enough room and the ball in hand. Just to prove a point, here's a photo of Mr Varndell scoring under the posts after just 28 seconds of the match between Leicester and Bath at Welford Road last season. He doesn't hang about!

Not rugby related, but I was browsing the silliness on the Halfbakery earlier, and two fab ideas stuck in the mind - first one was a suggestion to change the Eurovision Song Contest rules and make everyone sing in Esperanto. Genious! And the other one that caught my attention was the "I'm Not Crazy" sign for people talking on their bluetooth headsets on the phone. Some of the annotations to that one are priceless.

Day Of The Devil?

I've just noticed it's 06/06/06 today, but thankfully so far nothing untoward has happened!

Not a lot to report in the rugby press of late, either online or in the papers. Shame England Saxons (aka England A) lost to Scotland A in the first round of the Churchill Cup, during a deadly damp game in Toronto. If Canada beat Scotland we're still in with a chance of going through to the knockout stages.

Meanwhile, Down Under, England Cap'n Pat Sanderson is singing the praises of Mr Catt (I read in today's Metro sport section). Robbo picks his team tomrrow, and Catt is tipped to pair up with Matthew Tait in the Centre for Saturday's game against the Wallabies. It's two years since Catty played for England, but everyone reckons he's had a cracking season and is at his best yet.

The other tidbit I read on the same page is England Saxons' head coach Jon Callard, raving about Dave Seymour. He says he's a natural No 7 and could be the replacement to Neil Back we've all been waiting for. Certainly, the golden-locked one has usually made a strong impression during his outings for Sarries, so here's hoping he can make the transition up to senior grade rugby swiftly - wouldn't it be great if he got his chance at next year's World Cup? You read it here first!

Here's a picture of Davy Boy eyeing up the opposition during a scrum against Bristol

Austin The Merchant Banker

It had to happen sooner or later, but I read today that rugby's talkative Mr Autin Healey has finally decided to hang up his boots.

Healey was often renowned for his sledging of opponents on the pitch, pratical jokes off it, and sometimes, just for being an irritating bloke! At his recent benefit game, Richard Hill was asked what some of the worst memories of his illustrious career have been, and without hesitation he said, "having to share a room with Austin Healey on tour"! Well, there you go.

Here's a picture of Austin during Johnno's testimonial match at Twickenham last June, with the Big Man following him up the pitch.

I guess folks will miss him really. He's certainly performed on the pitch for his club, when fitness has allowed, and gained 51 caps for England. But now he's decided he's too slow to keep up on the field, players everywhere will be safe from his barracking. He's decided to take up a career as a Merchant Banker. If the cap fits, Austin!