Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A Shameless Ripoff

OK, I'll come clean straight away and admit the following is a straightforward cut-and-paste from a forwarded email I got a while back, but I was trawling my inbox just now and re-read it again. There's some great definitions!

NEW OFFICE SLANG

World Wide Wait - The real meaning of www.

404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404."

Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software.
"First we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one's own name.

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people's computer keyboards.

Mouse Potato - The online generation's answer to the couch potato.

Oh-no-second - That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you've just made a terrible error.

Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute.

Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn't require training.
"That new guy is totally plug-and-play."

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, dumps on everything and then leaves.

Stress Puppy - A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.

Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."

Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace

In order to maintain a modicum of rugby relevence, I'll put a link to the England team to face the Barbarians. My first England game was against the Baa-Baas in 2004 (England lost!) and you can see more of the photos here. Jason Leonard was propping for the Barbarians, the only time I've seen him on the rugby field.

4 comments:

vixxxie1 said...

Oh I love this - just fantastic. I have to admit once to egosurfing, and guess what! I found a bad review of a book I'd written. Looks like the hand of fate left its fingerprints all over that one!!

Caz Mockett said...

Ha! Yes, that did come back and haunt you, didn't it? Amazing how long-forgotten things can come back and bit you on the bum ;-)

gugon said...

This is great - I'm going to have to start using some of these!

Napfisk said...

As an Open-Collar Worker I hadn't heard many of these before. Keyboard Plaque is funny (as a word of course).

Don't mind the copy-pasting: it's no longer called plagiarism these day but 'mirroring'. BLOT! (Blog this!)